Adderall Anonymous
1. How old were you when you were told you needed Adderall? Who was the authority figure who told you? How did you feel?
2. What medical professional tested you? How long did the process take?
3. How did you feel within the first 3 months taking it?
4. What were the downsides and what were the upsides of the drug?
5. If you could estimate how many ppl asked you for adderall, what is the percentage of friends/family/etc?
6. Did you feel shame or power socially when expressing you were prescribed?
7. Have you ever Abused the drug?
8. Would you say your personality changes?
9. What coping mechanisms do you use without adderall?
10. How long do you plan on taking it/what does your doctor recommend?
If you had to give advice to someone who has ADHD but doesn't want to take the medication what would you suggest? (ex: resource groups, coping mechanisms, therapy)
Do you have advice for someone who was prescribed the drug but is ready to get off of it?
ADDERALL ANONYMOUS INTERVIEW 1
#1
I was 12 years old when I was told I needed to be on medication for ADD. The authority figure was a combination of teachers, school counselor, psychiatrists, and my pediatrician. However, I was not prescribed Vyvanse until I was 16.
#2
The medical professionals that tested me was a neuropsychiatrist, psychiatrist, and my pediatrician worked together to get me approved for medication. The process took almost a year. I felt like i was a problem child or “handicapped”. I felt less than because my academic performance was not up to par.
#3
Within the first 3 months of taking it, I felt very focused, empowered, and limitless like I could accomplish anything. I was on a high. Almost like I can transform my life and eradicate all the “bad” qualities about me like my silliness, hyperactive was, and inability to concentrate in school.
#4
The Downsides:
I felt out of touch and alienated from myself and my true personality. For example I was more quiet, less talkative, and less goofy which was very bizarre because I was normally a social butterfly and the class clown. I was emotionally numb when I first started taking it and just existed to work and perform in school.
I was very physically unhealthy. I lost a lot of weight over 30lbs and was malnourished as my appetite was severely suppressed and i was burning extensive calories in competitive lacrosse. My blood was very thin and I was constantly bruising so easily from everything —sometimes nothing at all. Contact bruises from lacrosse would spread into giant continent size welts. Moreover, my immune system was so unhealthy that my platelet levels tested in the grey area for lupus.
I was extremely irritable and on edge about everything. After a year on Vyvanse, i experienced terrible mood swings. Sometimes bursting into uncontrollable tears or panic attacks. My OCD was exacerbated, and my perfectionist tendencies were at an all time high, even when doing simple tasks, or attempting creative expression. Fast forward 8 years later after being on high doses of Vyvanse and Adderall, and I started getting chronic kidney pain and blood in my urine from constant turbo filtering of the toxins out of my body.
I would crash when not on it and get terrible migraines. Withdrawal on the weekends meant being extremely tired, and having to rely on adderall to not sleep in throughout the day.
The Upsides:
I was on deans list for school getting straight A’s every semester in high school since being on ADD medicine. Most semesters getting straight A’s. The lowest was a B, rarely.
I had loads of energy and was also excelling in Varsity lacrosse, becoming the best on the team beating the all time high school record of most goals in a season for every season since college.
I was thin…..even though I was malnourished. I was proud of the way my body looked to society’s standards.
I could go 3 nights in a row without sleep. Working hard and partying harder.
I felt unstoppable….until a mood swing.
#5
At least 30% of people in high school & college would ask me for Adderall consistently.
#6
I felt power socially expressing that i was prescribed because it was like i had my hands on a token…something that was wanted and valued.
#7
I would abuse the drug all the time to perform well in sports and school, and just to pull all nighters partying.
#8
My personality and brain chemistry has absolutely changed after long term use. I have generalized anxiety disorder which i never used to have and i am more irritable. I am also more prone to depression and low episodes. Regulating my moods and operating from a place of mindfulness has also been harder. I’m sure my serotonin and dopamine levels have been impacted.
#9
The coping mechanisms that I’ve used without Adderall include working out, yoga, journaling, eating less inflammatory foods which cause brain fogs for me like dairy, and engaging in opportunities that interest me. For example, learning about topics that enthuse me.
#10
I do not currently take it. My doctor respects my decision and has not given any recommendations for alternatives.
ADDERALL ANONYMOUS INTERVIEW 2
#1
I was in either 5th or 6th grade when I underwent testing for ADHD and did trials of different ADHD medications. We tried Adderall, Ritalin, Vyvanse, and Focalin. My parents, myself, and a few teachers we chose would fill out a survey regarding my behavior/mood/etc. on the different meds so we could find one that worked best. My parents and teachers always knew I had a bit of a different way of learning (walking around the classroom) but didn’t want to have me tested until it was actually impacting my grades. I ended up being on Vyvanse and I’m not sure what dose I started on but I went up to 50mg eventually, and added short-term Ritalin to take in the afternoon once I started doing sports so I could focus during that time and once I got home for homework. The Ritalin started at 10mg but eventually went up to 20 mg.
#2
I believe we had a psychologist tested me but I don’t remember it being a long process. Probably a days worth of different tests and activities. I was retested my senior year of high school in order to get verification for my college’s health center that I could continue taking it.
#3
It started out really well and it definitely helped improve my focus and grades. I didn’t see a big personality change in myself taking it, but many people have told me I was sometimes a bitch on it, but that could just maybe be my personality.
#4
I’d say I had a lot of positives with it. As long as I started the task I needed to, I would stick to it. But sometimes I would start petting my dog and that’s what it became focused on. By my junior/senior year of college the Vyvanse was too much for me and was causing immense anxiety, which led me to stop taking it. I still continue to take my Ritalin as needed as I didn’t feel as many negative effects from it.
#5
I’m not sure I could estimate how many friends asked for my Vyvanse and Ritalin but it was a lot. And considering I didn’t take it everyday I would sometimes let people have it.
#6
I didn’t feel any shame or power. I guess I had been on it for so long that it was one of those “it is what it is” situations. I definitely had friends that were envious either because they couldn’t afford the testing necessary to be prescribed, or some parents don’t believe in ADHD and therefore wouldn’t allow their kids to get tested and prescribed.
#7
I definitely started using it recreationally a bit in college, but given the school I was at, I also had a lot of access to other drugs that I used every now and then (cocaine, Molly, weed).
#8
I didn’t have anxiety before taking Vyvanse, and now despite no longer taking it for about 5 years, still have pretty intense anxiety. Given I don’t want to add more medications to my system, I meet with a therapist every other week to help with these feelings. Besides the anxiety, I don’t think it has really impacted my personality too much.
#9
During college I joined the Learning Effectiveness Program (LEP) at University of Denver where I got to meet with a counselor once a week to help with coping mechanisms to deal with my ADHD. This gave me many skills I now use given I don’t take Vyvanse.
#10
Given I am done with my Masters degree and not planning to go back to school, I have officially filled my last prescription of Ritalin.
ADVICE
For anyone not interested in taking medication (which I totally understand that it’s not for everyone) I would find a learning counselor or therapist that can help you with the symptoms of your ADHD. They can help you with finding skills you need to stay organized and focused.
Before going of your meds, definitely make sure you’ve developed the skills you need to deal with your symptoms.
