Books
“Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren’t very new after at all.” Abraham Lincoln
Abe’s quote was true for me when I first read Open Book, where Jessica Simpson opens up about her struggles with addiction and just so happens to include a drug close to my heart, Adderall. The way she described her experience may have been a totally different situation than mine, but her words resonated deeply, and the feelings were one and the same. Without reading this book, I would have never considered rehab as an option for someone in my situation, but more importantly, I would have never felt I wasn’t going through this addiction alone.
This blog is supposed to provide community and connection with people who might have a different background or situation, but their feelings of isolation and fear in their addiction to Adderall are one in the same. I encourage this community to continue reading at whatever stage in their addy-free journey because you might find comfort in knowing that your thoughts around your experience "aren’t very new after all," and a book can provide perspective and guidance in addiction to addy free.
I categorized these books under the stages of my addiction with Adderall and what ultimately led me here to be ADDY FREE.
Comforting in my addiction:
I love following successful people to learn from their experiences and apply them to my life. This was the first time that I came across a successful person who had experienced Adderall addiction. Say what you want about Jessica Simpson's reality show, "Newly Weds", where she was portrayed as yourstereotypicall "dumb blond", but "dumb" is definitely not who she is. She created a clothing and accessory brand valued at 1 billion dollars that hit #3 on the billboard charts. However, fame and success can lead to immense pressure and self doubt (especially when you are diagnosed with a learning disability, dyslexia). I resonate with her story because she started to depend on Adderall to keep up with it all and remain "perfect" in the public eye. When she ultimately went to rehab for Adderall dependency and alcoholism, she openly shared how she felt during this time, and it was so similar to how I felt that it gave me the reassurance and validation I needed to move forward in a similar direction. I'm forever grateful for this book!
When I finally began listening to my gut and my body and realized that I had a problem with Adderall, I began seeking out stories of people who made it through the hardest of times and how they came out stronger. While Edith Eger’s story of a Holocaust survivor does not even compare to my privilege as a free American woman, one could say addiction is like your own self-made concentration camp within your head that you can’t escape. But I needed perspective. I was not in a concentration camp, and I had a choice to escape, and Edith gave me that motivation.
Livin Addy Free:
This is the shit I am currently going through so I figured it deserved an explination- Adderall made me feel like I was in control of my “to dos”, 5 year plan, I even had an excel spreadsheet of my friends and the last time I contacted them… but the reality is, no one is truly in control. I sure as hell wasn’t when I would snap at my parents or my rigid schedule would get interrupted by a slack from my boss… and when I got off Adderall, life felt even less out of control because without a drug, I started feeling everything, even if it was overwelming and uncomfortable. Thats why I love this book. It gives “mortals” aka humans (which we are by the way) a great perspective on managing not only tasks and time but life.
Why- this book. The summary of this book is described as a "guide to overcoming emotional wounds and transforming relationships from wars of control into harmonic connections based on love, joy, and freedom." Living addy free may be liberating in the beginning because you are no longer dependent on a drug that has completely prevented you from living your truth; however, there’s a reason why AA refers to previous addicts still in "recovery". It’s because that feeling of addiction never really goes away. The need to numb the stress and anxiety of daily life is a constant battle that is no longer easily provided by Adderall itself. The best way to prevent going back to that dark place is by showing yourself love every day. It is a reminder to myself to compliment my body even when I'm feeling down from no longer being 15 pounds underweight, express gratitude that I am no longer viewing the world through a substance, rejoice in the new, less irratable presence I have with my friends and family, and to congratulate myself for the accomplishment I made to get off Adderall in the first place.
It feels good to know the cravings we feel after Addy aren’t unique to just us. This book explains why cravings happen and a scientifically (but not hard to understand) proven way to get through them! The tools provided in this book will help you get connected with yourself in an empowering, and most of all, compassionate way.
Fun Books
For a person who loves to "go go go" and "do do do", sometimes, I forget that life is supposed to be FUN. That’s why my therapist's "hw" for me now is to quit all the "self-help" and "self improvement books" (at least from 5 unfinished books to 1) and start reading for fun. Here are ten of my favorites that you can try:
